Monday, June 27, 2011

All Summer Long

Kid Rock is not a favorite of mine. When he burst onto the scene with his, um...special blend of rap and metal, I wasn't impressed. His fan base seemed to be comprised of people that thought Limp Bizkit was too highbrow. Kid Rock made music for meatheads. He's somehow managed to stick around by morphing into some kind of southern rock statesman and has been taken in by the country music establishment. Maybe they believe he gives Dierks Bentley street cred or something. I'm not sure...is there someone we can ask?

Anychiz, about 99.9% of the time I kind of wish someone would beat Kid Rock within an inch of his life with a burlap sack filled with frozen Cornish game hens. I dislike him as an 'artist' that much...but then he went and recorded 'All Summer Long', one of the best summer time songs I can remember. I don't forgive Kid Rock for the crimes against humanity he unleashed upon the world up until 'All Summer Long' came out last year (or was it the year before?), but the burlap sack used to pummel him can be lightened by a hen or two...and maybe a wing from a third. The rest stay to extract payment for 'Bawitdaba'.....

When I can conjure any sort of motivation, I'll post my 5 favorite 'Summer Songs'...maybe even before summer ends!

*Sings to self...'drinkin' whiskey out the bottle...'

Thursday, June 9, 2011

1994 Camry With Oil Leak

I've been chasing oil leaks in the Camry for over 2 years now. The latest leaks are coming from the rear main seal and, from what I can tell, the high pressure hose that appears to be attached to the power steering pump...this is a 6 cylinder engine and it still starts with no problems and has plenty of power. I just don't know if I should sell this thing for $1000 bucks, trade it in for half that, or sink another $1000 dollars (or more) into it to try and stop the leaks. The exterior is in okay shape, but the interior is a borderline disaster. I'm leaning towards selling it for what I can get rather than have it repaired...my big fear is that even a new rear main seal will leak given the age of the engine and the fact that it has close to 265k miles on it.

What to do, what to do?!?!?

Radio Gaga

I just finished successfully mowing the lawn with the non-self propelled mower that The Better Half thought I was too feeble to shove around the yard. Yes, well. The lawn is mowed, and I was able to remain (mostly) upright afterward.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world....sales of Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' cliff dived into the abyss last week. After selling close to 1.2 million copies during the first week of release (440k of those sales were of the Amazon.com 99 cent special variety), 'Born This Way' only moved 185k units week 2...that's an 85% decline. Does this mean the bloom is off the Gaga rose? Possibly...'Born This Way' the song was much better when it was called 'Express Yourself' and performed by Madonna. The other cuts on the album are even weaker. Take away the exploitation and pandering to her gay audience (a page out of the annoying and talentless Kathy Griffin playbook), the contrived spectacle, and her posing as a bullied outsider and all you have left is a mediocre pop singer that can't dance. She's a female version of Papa Doc/Clarence from '8 Mile', a prep school dandy going full reverse status. 'Poker Face' was a legitimately good pop song...everything since then has been crap. A performer with 10 million Twitter followers and 30 million Facebook fans that only sells 1.3 million albums should have one very nervous record label convulsing with fear.

ESPN's Bill Simmons, aka The Sports Guy, kicked off his new website yesterday. Grantland has been underwhelming so far, but it is most definitely brought to you by Subway, home of the pressed meat bits sub sandwich. Simmons used to be one of the few writers on the interwebs that would get a chuckle out of me...then he went and started working for Jimmy Kimmel and, as he himself would say, lost his fastball. His 'Book Of Basketball' was very good, but his Celtics bias was evident from page one. We'll see if Grantland reawakens Simmons the writer, or just be another outlet for his self-indulgent/congratulatory podcasts.

Go Mavs!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Good News/Bad News

I finally located the missing water feature pump over the weekend. That's the good news - the dastardly pump managed to slip behind the heavy duty shelving in the garage, hoping to avoid a summer of hard labor spent pumping water through fiberglass rocks.

The bad news is that I was lead to the pump by a ghastly trail of dried rodent blood. I fight a semi-annual war with the field mice that make their way from the greenbelt to the house. Their big offensive occurs in the fall, but every spring the hantavirus carrying vermin test my perimeter defenses. The poor bastard that led me to the pump set a trap off that clamped down on it's hindquarters, and the amount of flailing that transpired must have been epic in proportion to the mouse's diminutive stature. This mouse was going to his inevitable demolition roaring like a mighty lion and thrashing like, um...some animal that thrashes when trapped. (Note - I'm not a zoologist) Anyhoo, as I was cleaning up the carnage from the lil' varmint's struggle to save his own miserable plague ridden life, I peaked behind the shelves...and there was the pump. While I feel bad that a rodent had to lose his life in order for me to stumble upon the missing pump, I am thankful all the same. That mouse's inability to set a trap off head first saved me $40.00....although I may have used close to that amount in bleach while cleaning the garage.

My electric razor is still missing, here's hoping a dead badger doesn't figure in the eventual location of that gadget.

In other news, I'm still fat and my knees are giving out at an alarming rate. I may have to stop running on the treadmill because no amount of ice and anti-inflammatory medication is mitigating the pain and discomfort. I could hardly leave my desk today, and when I did get up my first couple of steps would have made Fred Sanford look spry. I know I've b*tched and moaned about my knees before, but this is different. In the past I would drop a few elbees and run through the pain as it would eventually subside. This pain is constant though, and I know my right knee is bone on bone grinding on bone with little bits of bone and cartilage making things that much more interesting. I'm going to have to stop running...bottom line. If I'm going to be remotely mobile in my 40's then I'll have to sacrifice the treadmill time.

I didn't run tonight, but I did take the bike out for a spin. I made it up the big incline without going into cardiac arrest, so I had that going for me. Unfortunately, I was in so much oxygen debt when I finished the climb I was afraid I was going to get the bends when I eventually caught my breath. Biking didn't kill my knees the way running did, but I still iced down and stretched out. Here's hoping I can walk to the train tomorrow without wincing.

Oh, and Japan is finding plutonium over a mile away from the failed nuclear plant...and a mutant ear-less bunny was located near the plant as well...and it more than likely has an insatiable appetite for human flesh. This is how zombie apocalypse scenarios begin, my friends....