Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Today's Thousand Dollar Idea

Inspiration strikes me every now and then and I come up with an idea just wacky and obscure enough that it might appeal to maybe 19 other people on the planet.  No, I'm not talking about my idea to open a chain of MMA themed gay bars because that there is a license to print money...it's gold, baby, pure gold! 

Anyway, my idea today was to go all Rick Rubin, minus the 75 lbs I'd have to pack on, the hobo beard and what I can only imagine is eye watering BO mixed with equal amounts of stanky dried Kokanee on his shants.  No, by going all Rick Rubin I mean finding an artist and having them cover material they would never be associated with...like Johnny Cash completely owning and reworking Soundgarden's 'Rusty Cage'.  That was a career reviving and redefining moment for Cash...

So, here's my Rick Rubinesque idea:  Have Allison Krauss record an album of Missing Persons songs.  It would totally, totally work.  Dale Bozzio's vocals are right in Krauss's wheelhouse...and her backing band, Union Station, are topnotch musicians that would work minor miracles with Missing Persons early 80's new wave/pop arrangements.  Me?  Well, I'd be sitting in the booth and offering up creative gems like, 'Allison, break me off something filthy on that fiddle on 'Walking In LA'...and don't be afraid to get dirty on 'Words' there beardy mandolin dude.'  Genius!

Of course, no one but me, David Wild, and maybe that fat bald guy from Pitchfork (his name escapes me) would buy it...so maybe this is more of a $100 idea...but that's $100 more than I had when I started writing this....    

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Great Expectations

There's an old saying that became a painful reality for me over the weekend - Our possessions in time will possess us.  I'm not sure if I have the quote right or just who to credit it to...Ghandi...Confucius...Fonzi...all I know is that I have spent the last two days exorcising stuff.  Actually, it wasn't just any old stuff, it was some of the kids toys.  By toys I mainly mean Playmobil stuff.

I'm about one of the biggest fans of Playmobil toys on the planet.  So are the kids, they love the fairy tale castle, the knights castle, all of the farm sets, and the various houses.  The problem with Playmobil is the insane amount of accessories that accompany each play set.  We're talking tiny knives and forks, pots and pans, slippers, hats, medieval weaponry, and various other items.  I spent at least 5 hours on Saturday night sorting it all into empty salsa containers from Puerto Vallarta (they make crappy mole and enchiladas, but their salsa kicks ass)...swords and spears into one container...clothing into another....food items in yet one more.  By the time I was done I came to the following conclusions:  Their are enough Playmobil canned goods and firearms in this house to film a toy version of 'Doomsday Preppers'...and I think this cleanup and organization of said Playmobil canned goods and firearms, et al, has cured me of my Playmobil enthusiasm.  It was brutal...but you are more than welcome to check their stuff out for yourself.  I recommend starting with something small like the vacation house...then when you have some free time delve into the catalog that comes packaged with the toys...next thing you know you'll be sucked into the Playmobil vortex.  Good times!

Speaking of good times, this was supposed to be the 'weekend of me'.  The Better Half has been out on her annual glamping trip to Lake Mojave, house boating it up with some friends of her's from California.   In the old days, pre-kids, this kind of sudden 'freedom' meant calling up some friends and recreating the infamous John Lennon/Keith Moon/Harry Nilsson 'Lost Weekend' (without the Smothers Brothers heckling).  Now, however, I have these things called 'responsibilities' that kneecap any notions I may have of tom foolery and/or drunken monkey business.  Instead, I coach K-1 girls soccer, sort hundreds of Playmobil pieces, and rearrange the laundry room (crazy town here, I tell ya).  Yep, I've come a long way...no skull crushing hangovers for this guy, just a sore tailbone from sitting on the floor trying to determine if Playmobil laundry detergent is a kitchen item or does it fall into general household good...yep, crazy.

So yeah, The Better Half has been out of town since Wednesday...that means I've had to take care of the girls by myself.  I'm actually pretty good at handling the kids, although Katelyn can be a little demanding.  You know what else is demanding?  Braiding hair.  Maddy sleeps with her hair in a braid to keep it from getting too tangled.  I've never braided hair before in my life and can barely manage to create a decent pony tail.  I watched several YouTube videos on how to braid hair, but when it came to applying what I learned from the videos to Maddy's whip of hair...well, it just didn't work out.  No matter how many times I watched the videos, I just couldn't manipulate Maddy's hair into a proper braid.  In the end, I had to walk her over to a neighbor's house and ask her to braid Maddy's hair...which she happily did so Maddy didn't wake up the next morning with a tangled mess.

Oh, Jossy caught a nasty cold on Wednesday and slept fitfully that night...which meant I slept fitfully that night as I kept having to wake up to help blow her nose and apply Vick's to help with the congestion.  This routine was repeated on Thursday night...and Friday night.  The nanny was a mess with the same cold Friday afternoon and her baby started sniffling as well.  Maddy started feeling ill Saturday and then Katelyn Saturday night.  I've been holding up well, but the lack of sleep has been tough...but not so much so that I couldn't clean and organize the laundry room today.

What else happened...I watched a couple of movies (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close...which was just awful...I couldn't stand the little kid in that movie, he almost made it unwatchable).  I also picked up watching 'Breaking Bad' which is just awesome.  Love that show...great characters...although I wouldn't mind it if the brother in law DEA agent got whacked at one point.

That's about all I've got for now...thanks for checking in and stopping by!