Thursday, May 2, 2013

Feeling Crabby

I've been waging war on the crabgrass in my lawn for at least four years.  Tonight I conceded the battle to the countless crabgrass colonies residing in my backyard...but I won the war.  If there is one thing I can offer to any of my 9 readers that may also be fighting the marauding hoards of demon weed it is this:  Do not negotiate with will think you weak, taunt you, and come back stronger than ever.

See, I tried playing nice and green when I first noticed the telltale signs of early crabgrass incursions into the yard.  My first attempts were organic...a little apple cider vinegar diluted with water...cutting the crabgrass colonies out of the yard and sodding the bare patches...overseeding the yard every spring to gently choke out offending weeds.  None of those options were effective, and each spring more and more crabgrass worked its way into the yard.

For the last two years I have tried preemergence herbicides, products designed to discourage crabgrass seeds from germinating.  Well, all that stuff did was act as a super serum that created an unstoppable pestilence.  The crabgrass friggin' thrived after throwing down some weed & feed with 'Halts'.  This stuff sucks no matter when applied...I don't think it even made the crabgrass feel bad about itself, let alone discourage it.    

My original plan for this evening was to apply yet another product that retarded crabgrass growth, but would not harm the lawn.  Just before hooking the bottle up to the hose, I took one last look around...and wanted to scream 'broken arrow' like Mel Gibson did in 'We Were Soldiers'...but I didn't want the new neighbors to think I was crazy.  Instead, I opened the shed and broke out the Round Up, the napalm of off the shelf weed killers, and went to work inside my own perimeter. 

Sadly, everywhere I sprayed Round Up is going to be scorched Earth within two days, but I stand by my decision.  Yes, some good grass will die, blue on blue casualties, but the lawn had been overrun.  The plan is to re-sod the impacted areas after all the vegetation has died and gets raked out.  I'll put down new top soil and starter fertilizer and begin anew...and about three years from now the battle to rid my life of the Great Crabgrass War of 2016 will kick off....

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