99 Bottles Of Beer...

During the Great Appliance Debacle of 2013, many things around the house became askew.  The garage suffered a tremendous amount of disorganization as we attempted to make room for appliances we were getting rid of, appliances we received in error, and appliances that never even showed up.  (Thanks again, Sears!)  As I shuffled things around the garage I had to make use of various items, such as a cooler to empty out the freezer before the refrigerator could be moved.  The biggest cooler we have was still filled with bottles of Corona from the disasterpiece of a b-day get together I had.  Those had to be taken out and because I never knew when Sears was showing up with stuff different from the stuff we had purchased, I just kind of put the bottles of Corona on the garage floor.  This planned worked well...until yesterday.

There's a long convoluted story about me trying to repair the passenger side mirror of the Black Mamba up to what happened when I tried to clean the garage, but that's a story for another time. Just know that I'm still driving with only one working side mirror on my bucket due to my super genius move of clipping the frame of the garage door a while back.  A job that looked so easy on the instructions I received with the replacement mirror was confounding, to say the least.  Every single bolt and screw on the Black Mamba are of different sizes, even if they serve the same purpose.  When I went to remove the door panel I discovered I needed special door panel removal tools that I do not own.  Much cursing took place as I struggled to remove the door panel...so much cursing that if F-bombs were fire bombs my garage would have been Dresden.  Anyhoo, I never removed the door panel, but I left a mess in the garage...my ego and self-worth as a half-assed wrencher still lie crumpled in the corner near the LED candy cane lights...

When the girls and I returned home from their gymnastics class yesterday evening, I attempted a quick clean up of the garage.  During said clean up attempt I managed to knock over a Corona bottle, as I reached to stop it from toppling over I tipped another bottle over..next thing you know three bottles of Corona exploded in the garage.  Now, a 16 ounce bottle of beer doesn't look like much until it detonates and showers everything in a three yard radius with barley pop...three don't even seem that daunting until a river of middling Mexican beer is flowing like a mini Rio Grande snaking across the garage floor.  However, the reality is that three bottles of beer contain quite a bit of liquid...and glass...

I did my best with the glass, but I was mostly concerned with the beer.  I opened the garage doors, doused the floor with several 5 gallon buckets of water, and swept the place clean.  This morning the garage still smelled like a bar rag though, and it probably will for eternity.  Stale beer is just an odor that never really goes away and is a distance third only to cat wizz and bong water, in that order, when it comes to smelling offensive.  Come summertime the garage is going to stink like a wino that stumbled upon a cache of Foster's oil cans and a family sized bag of Chili Cheese Fritos.  Not good.  I suppose I could take some Purex or something and swab the place out again...or maybe we'll just move.

Moral of the story- never clean the garage after being disappointed by a big box appliance retailer.  Nothing good comes of it.