Slippin' And A Slidin'

I bought the girls a Slip & Slide at the end of the school year. However, since this has been the sh*ttiest summer I can remember since the summer of 1993, it has sat unused in the garage. Something resembling summer finally reared its head last weekend, so we were able to break the thing out.

Now, Slip & Slides have not changed a lot over the years. Gone are the days of metal stakes to keep the thing pinned to the ground, replaced by a reservoir of water at the tail end and two plastic stakes up top. It's still a thick sheet of plastic with water squirting over it. The treachery of the blasted thing remains intact as well. Oh, I remember watching my friend Sean Ash damn near brain himself on our Slip & Slide in Montclair, CA back in 1977. He miscounted his steps on his approach run and his feet flew out from under him, flipping him onto his back and slamming his head into the turf. He was most certainly concussed...and probably never the same again...

Anyhoo, happy memories of internal head injuries and deadly cranial pressure aside, I bought a Slip & Slide for the girls...and they love it. Especially, Madelyn...she's a pro. Unfortunately, the Slip & Slide is absolute murder on the lawn. By the time the girls are finished sliding around they have worn a pretty deep groove in the grass. This is because of the amount of top soil I had to use when putting the lawn in and the poor drainage due to the cement like glacier till underneath said top soil. When I pulled the Slip & Slide up Saturday evening it looked like a meteor slammed into the lawn and dug up a trench. I was kind of expecting to see baby Superman at the end of the ruined stretch of lawn...but no such luck. There was just a puddle of muddy water. Side note - had there been a baby Superman on my lawn you bet your sweet arse I'd have him playing sports when he hit his teens and dominating! He would go pro in EVERYTHING! Baby Superman = license to print money!!!!

Uh, so yeah, where was I? Oh, the lawn...RUINED! Well, no. But it looked bad, so I had to fetch some top soil and grass seed and do some repair work. We'll see how it goes. Next time the girls want to use the Slip & Slide we'll just go the YMCA for family swim. Kidding. Although I was a little irritated that the lawn was trashed, I couldn't get too upset. The girls were crazy happy on that sheet of plastic and grass grows back...there's only a small window of time where my kids are going to be kids and I plan on letting them enjoy their childhood. I am > Joseph Jackson...