Friday, March 16, 2012

Random Musings

Grocery stores in MA, CA, and MN are reportedly being hit by drug leaders….loading up on Tide detergent. Yep, Tide is now a hot seller on the black market. Drug dealers are supplementing their income by peddling black market tide at Laundromats and on street corners in our fair cities. In this new less is really more bad is good economy, everyone is scrambling to find new ways to turn a buck or two…although I don't think I would want to break bad and turn to selling Tide out of the trunk of my car in seedier parts of town.

I caught another episode of 'Doomsday Preppers'…and I am inclined to agree with the anonymous commenter in my post about the show that those profiled may also need some therapy. The episode I watched last night had a NY city fireman that was prepping for the eruption of the Yellowstone Park super volcano, something experts assessed as having a .000004% chance of happening in this gent's lifetime. While I think we all agree that when/if the Yellowstone Park super volcano does decide to awaken from its 600,000 year slumber that life in and around these here United States will be a bit sporty. However, the chances of that happening in the next 100 or even 1,000 years are below minimal. I think are NYC fire fighter would be better served taking some of the money he has been spending on survival gear (the dude was obsessed with knives and knife fighting) and use it to move his family to a better apartment.

Another series I watched, somewhat against my will, was Celebrity House Hunters. The two episodes I watched with the better half were centered around the owner of Hollywood's most famous asymmetrical face, Shannon Doherty, and Hollywood's gayest straight man (or is that straightest gay man?) Andy Dick. Neither one is particularly interesting, although I did find Andy Dick's dedication to his family during the episode strangely touching…as if he actually had some regrets about his batsh*t insane drug fueled past. Anyhoo, how the hell can Shannon Doherty afford a 9 million dollar house? Her craptacular attitude has made her unemployable to everyone but Lifetime and whatever channel aired the 90210 Revisited show. Do residuals from syndication pay that well? Is 90210 still in reruns somewhere? I'm confused.

I was late in appreciating The Band Perry's fine, fine song 'If I Die Young', which is perhaps the finest bit of mainstream pop country to come out of Nashville in two decades. The Band Perry is comprised of Kimberly Perry and her two brothers Neil and Reid. Kimberly is absolutely adorable and has the kind of voice Taylor Swift stays up at night and dreams about when not writing songs getting even at some pretend boyfriend that slighted her. Neil and Reid look as if the are members of a Sid & Marty Croft Reenactment Society, specifically the troupe that would be responsible for bring The Bugaloos back to life.

Kimberly Perry wrote 'If I Die Young' and it is simply one of the most achingly poignant songs I've heard in a long time. It isn't necessarily a sad song as much as it is thought provoking and touching…give it a spin, you won't be disappointed…and if you don't like the song then you are probably emotionally dead inside. Zing!

Peyton Manning, he of the recently bolted together neck vertebrae and magically regenerating nerve endings, may or may not sign with the Denver Broncos, Tennessee Titans, or 49ers…he has already worked out for the Niners and is scheduled to throw for the Broncos. If I were the Broncos I would hire Office Linebacker Terry Tate to blindside Manning during his throwing drills to see if his head pops off or he loses feeling in his arms. That's the only way they are going to know if Manning will be able to take a hit during a game…

1 comment:

  1. I haven't laughed out loud for a while and this post totally made my day. (Or morning, whatever.)