What's Old Is New...

I broke down and bought a new lawnmower. I've never had to shop for a mower before. The one I had been using for the last 8 years was a hand-me-down...the one before that was a gift to The Better Half that we left with the old house. So, a couple of weekends ago Katelyn and I moseyed on down to Lowe's and I picked out a lawnmower...a red little number that isn't self-propelled...with absolutely no help from anyone that worked the Garden Center at Lowe's. I've become accustomed to no one knowing how to do their jobs anymore though, it's part of the consumer experience these days. From the orange vested dopes at Home Depot to the blue polo shirt wearing maroons at Best Buy, nobody can answer questions pertaining to the area of the store they are assigned to. They may as well be geraniums, at least then they would function in an ornamental fashion.

The mower not being self-propelled has been an ongoing source of controversy in our house. The Better Half, after finding out that the new mower was All-Me powered, said, 'You're in your forties, you should make life easier on yourself, not harder.' Yes, well. Here's the deal - the day I can't push a fargin lawnmower around my yard is the day I hire some punk teenage neighbor kid to do the job. I'll sit on the patio with a tumbler of bourbon in my hands and point out all the spots he/she missed...then I'll chase them off the lawn.

By the way, I'm not 'in my forties', I just started my forties...big difference.

Easter was a joy. The night before we met up with our neighbors for some snacks and drinks while the kids decorated eggs and participated in general mayhem. It was the kind of night that makes me happy that I live in the 'burbs with people I enjoy spending time with. Some people become physically ill when the thought of living in a suburb crosses their mind, but I love it. I get enough city life during the work week.

We went to church Easter Sunday and then off to my folks out on the peninsula for dinner and what have you. The Pescado brother was there as well, and it's always nice for the girls to spend time with him.

Lessee, what else has been going on...every item I own that is on the electrical grid has turned on me. The revolt has been subtle, but the electron powered bastards are out to kill me slowly but surely with their little mind eff games. First, the pump to the water feature has gone missing. It was in the garage all winter long, but when I went to find it the damn thing had vanished into the ether. It is not hiding in the shed or the cabinets, it has literally disappeared. The oven has been acting up as well, the interior light turning on and off randomly. That's kind of...creepy...images of Carole Ann in the TV come to mind. Yesterday, my garage door opener made a break for it as well, joining the Andy Dufresne-like water pump in Zihuatanejo, Mexico or something. Earlier this evening, the smaller of the two garage doors decided to literally jump the rails. I had to spend 15 minutes with a pair of pliers, a rubber mallet, and a can of WD-40 to beat the garage door into submission. I fully expect the car to go full blown 'Christine' on me tomorrow on my drive to the train.

Speaking of the train, I forgot to tap my Orca pass on the card reader this morning...a morning the fare enforcement officers were checking for that sort of thing. I'm not sure why I forgot to tap my pass, perhaps because I was running late after having my world turned upside down due to the missing garage door opener. Either way, I forgot to tap and my card pinged the officers magic wand. I had to break out my license so he could snap a photo of it and put me in 'the database'. That's how my day started. A literal giant of a man with Herman Munster sized feet reading me the riot act for not following Sounder protocol. How did it end? I used the off limits due to construction restrooms on our floor at work before heading to the train. When I exited, the CEO of the company was standing outside the door checking out the progress of the build out. That was awkward. At least I tapped my Orca pass boarding the train for the ride home.

I keep promising to post about Prince's 'Around The World In A Day' album, but I keep failing to do so. My three faithful readers are quickly learning what my kids figured out a while ago...I say about of crap that doesn't come true. Anyhoo, I'll post my retrospective review...eventually. Until then, His Royal Badness found himself in foreclosure recently. Turns out he owed back payments to the tune of $368k, so the bank foreclosed. The sheriff removed the property from the auction block when a check for the full amount of the mortgage was received by the lender. I guess he got an advance for all those upcoming gigs at the Staples Center.

It has been an interesting couple of years for Prince financially and otherwise. The music he has been releasing has been mediocre at best. He has also made some dubious financial decisions. Then there were the reports that Prince was living the life of a drug eating gimp because he refused double hip replacement surgery. All those years humpin' his amps and what have ya took their toll.

My one desire as a Prince fan is for him to lose some of the warmed over funk and put out a straight ahead hard rockin' album or a combo of the rock/funk/pop that made him a star in the first place. The self-indulgent nonsense that he's churning out is just tedious.

That's all I've got for now...oh, Bin Laden is dead...