Carry That Weight

I started watching what I eat at the beginning of the month in anticipation of our trip to Disneyland. The goal was to drop at least 15 el-beeze before July 8th. As of about 20 minutes ago, I'm down 18 lbs, which is really good. My end of summer goal was to be 30 lbs lighter heading into fall. I'm on pace for that as well. Why the 'Disney Diet'? Well, at some point during our three day visit to the Magic Kingdom one of the girls is going to collapse into a heap and will need to be carried. Lugging a kid and 15 lbs of garbage weight around my midsection just wasn't going to work. Also, my knees haven't been magically cured, they still give out and ache. I figured if I lost some weight that would be less stress on the knees...lastly, I don't want to look like a fat tub of goo in photos from our trip. Vanity can be a powerful motivator... The downside to losing weight is that most of my clothes no longer really fit me. Today I felt I looked a'ight enough to tuck my shirt in. The problem was that the shirt was roughly the size of an a-frame tent. When I tucked it in there was so much loose fabric that every time I raised my arms it looked like I was wearing a goddam flying squirrel suit...you know, one of these things. Secondly, I had to tighten my belt to the point it was almost painful. I would have been better off rolling like Jethro and tying some twine around my waist to hold my britches up. Aside from the uncomfortable cinching there was the matter of my gig line, which was all effed up. Non-military folks may not know what a gig line is, but I do, and I don't like it being effed. You civilian pukes read this wiki entry about gig lines. ANYWAY, I'm going to need a new belt pretty soon too...which is a nice issue to deal with when you are going a size smaller... Wow...I took something about me losing weight and managed to find a way to bitch about it. Imagine that... Speaking of weight loss, according to my doctor I could probably go a month without food and would still probably weigh close to 200 lbs. That seemed like a crazy statement until he took measurements of my wrists. I'm apparently a direct descendent of Neanderthals, hence the bone density of a Discovery channel biped. I think I'll look up one of those evolutionary charts that shows the progress of man from cave dwelling man ape to where we are today...maybe I'll spot my great-great grandfather in the photos...