Thursday, October 29, 2009

Audi Reclamation Project

Back in my mid-20's I dumped a very cute, stable girl for an extremely hot, mentally and emotionally unstable girl. The cute girl was dependable, never did anything to annoy me, was trustworthy, and I never had to worry about her cheating on me on nights she hung out with friends. The hot gal, well, where to begin? She was a lousy drunk, went out of her way to draw attention to herself in all social situations, had horrific self-esteem that led to an eating disorder, aspired to be a stripper, and could not be trusted under any circumstance (we got together when she was seeing someone else while going through a divorce, that should tell you everything about her loyalty issues). Still, she looked great (until the eating disorder and alcohol got their claws into her) and when things were good, they were really good...and since I'm a gentleman that is all I'm going to say about that.

ANYWAY, there's a point to all of this cute/reliable vs hot/crazy chat. The 'coolest' car I ever owned was a Audi A4. I loved that car, it looked great, performed was literally my dream car. Then bad things started to happen. The front and rear windscreens weren't sealed correctly and rattled at freeway speeds...the cruise control stopped working....the electrical system fried the rear defrost and then the AC console. By the time the turbo crapped out, I was done with that car. As much as I adored it, I had to let it was unreliable and spent more time in the shop thnn on the road. I traded it in for a 'cute' Honda Accord.

My point? The hot crazy chic was great when she wasn't absolutely batsh*t mental, but after a while all her nonsense took a toll. Her attractiveness could not trump the gargantuan pain in the arse she was to deal with day in and day out. My Audi was the same way. I never knew what to expect when I started that car up. Somedays I wondered if it would start at all, but for a while I ignored the warning signs that I had a lemon on my hands and fought the good fight...kind of like with the insane hot gal...she was a walking red flag of dysfunction, but I ignored it because she was good looking.

Walking away from the Audi was easy when the time came. I took it to the local Audi dealer and traded it in for that Accord. Stepping away from crazy gal wasn't so easy as she liked to scream and yell and throw things. Either way, we all need to know when to cut our losses and move on. Which is what I did.

So, here I am, moved on and such...and then I run across this write up for the 2009 Audi A4...and I gotta tell you, I'm wanting an Audi back in my life. Sadly, I don't have the income to support such a purchase, and with 3 kids an A4 is hardly practical...but my goodness, that is a fine looking car! I figure if I can save up some decent scratch I can probably get a 2009 or so in 3-4 years for what, 1/2 price of what they are today?

Crazy hot girls will always be crazy. There is no Quality Control or R&D division that exists on this planet to work out their kinks. Audi, on the other hand, has improved their reliability rating over the last 8 years...whatever issues they had nearly a decade ago have surely been resolved. Therfore, I am officially launchnig my Audi Reclamation Project. By 2012, just in time for the world to end, I'll be tooling around in a finely tuned German engineered car. The Taurus SHO looks to be a fine car, but it's merely cute when compared to the Audi.

Oh, so what happened to the cute girl I dumped? She hired a personal trainer, lost 10 pounds and then compeletely remade her image and made the leap from cute to hot, but without the crazy. The crazy gal wrecked a couple of marriages, possibly more, and may still be nutso to this day for all I know. The Better Half totaled the Honda Accord I traded the Audi in for, so I had to get another Honda...which was totaled by a third Honda driven by uninsured teens. That's when I got the taste for Honda's tainted by one too many car wrecks.

No comments:

Post a Comment